PARANOIA
Chapter 1 – The Worry
I switched on my iPod as I walked towards the shops. My iPod was on shuffle, so technically you can’t really figure out what song’s gonna come next. I was crossing the street when the song Count on Me by Bruno Mars played.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a diehard fan of Bruno, I just like some of his songs. One thing about me, I’m not exactly a diehard fan of any particular artist. When I like the song, I just like it.
You can count on me,
Like one, two, three,
I’ll be there,
Cause that’s what friends are suppose to do…
At that moment, a thought hit my mind.
“My friends… am I doing enough for them? Am I drifting away from them? What if I am?” countless questions flooded my mind ignoring the screams from my heart saying otherwise.
For that moment, I couldn’t think right. I kept thinking whether I was disturbing them, going away from them, misunderstanding them and a lot more you wouldn’t want to know.
Honestly, I started to really really worry. About what I’m doing to them, about what I’m causing to myself. And to cause more worry, I thought about that dream I had.
I thought so much that I almost got ran over by a car! Thankfully, it wasn’t my time to go yet. I was alone at that time so it was okay if I broke down in tears even if it was in public.
It’s not that I want to, I tried really hard to control it, but I managed to let only a few drops escape my eyes. To be honest, I’ve never really thought about these things a lot. I don’t know why I’m thinking about it now.
“What’s really happening… to me? What am I doing? Why do I feel all sad?” I really couldn’t understand my feelings at that moment. All I wanted was for everyone to leave me alone to cry and clear my head.
But that was impossible. People care about me, I can’t just tell them to go away no matter how much I wanted to be left alone. They have the right to care and I can’t just snap at them. Can I?
So to avoid it all, I just kept quiet. Kept it all inside. Put on a smile and hope that I can forget about those thoughts.
It never failed, as usual. Soon after, I was bright and cheerful again. After that I only had happy memories of me and my friends and family filling my mind. Oh, the wonders of nice memories.
I made it into a sandwich shop and ordered a ham and tuna sandwich. Weird, but I like those eating both of them at the same time. Halfway through my sandwich, my phone rang.
It was my boyfriend, Alan.
“Hey dear, you busy?”
“Nope, what’s up?” I tried to sound like I wasn’t chewing down food.
The thing is, Alan thinks that I eat too much. Well, maybe I do but it only happens when I’m bored. No harm done right?
“Nah, just wanted to talk to you. And, are… you… eating?” he said with a suspicious tone.
“Awww, how sweet of you. But you’re just bored aren’t you? And no, I’m not eating. Why would you think that?” I put on an innocent voice hoping he wouldn’t notice.
“Yeah. And you DO know that I can hear you chewing right? For a girl, you don’t really lie very well” he snickered when he said that.
“I’m pretty sure you can’t hear me chew okay? I AM a girl and I have manners when I eat. No matter how much. And you’ve got no proof that I’m eating. Or lying.” I started to smile as I said that.
“Gotcha!” was being said in my mind.
“Nah, you’re lying. I’m right outside the sandwich shop. I can see you.” he laughed and hanged up.
“Damn.” I said to myself.
He came into the sandwich shop and took the rest of the sandwich I was eating right out of my hands.
“Aww come on. Don’t be such a meanie. Give it back.” I said while trying to snatch my sandwich back.
To my demise, he ate it. Right in front of me!
“Hmm, nice combo. Should try this sometime.” He said while chewing my poor sandwich.
“Duh, I’m awesome at creating combo’s. And no one gave you permission for you to eat MY sandwich. It’s my creation and I deserve to finish it. Now you owe me one more.” I told him.
“No I don’t. You eat too much. I’m helping you avoid gaining weight. And you lied to me. So now we’re even.” I stuck his tongue out and started to laugh.
“Fine.” I said with a flat tone in my voice. My good mood has just been sucked out of me.
“Awww, what’s with the bad mood? And why are you alone anyways?” he asked with a change of expression in his face.
“None of your business. And you ate my sandwich anyways.” I said with a gloom in my voice.
“Fine, I’ll just ask some other time. Sorry bout the sandwich and cheer up kay? You can always count on me” he said with that cheerful smile on his face as he patted my head.
He walked me home, just so to make sure I wouldn’t get run over by a car. Again. He told me that he’ll check up on me in the afternoon and kissed me on the cheek and left.
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