31st August 2011, 22:49

I love singing. 

But why don't I have the courage to tell the world?

Day 6

Wow, it's already Wednesday. The days just pass by so fast. Which means I need to start finishing my homework already. Boohoohoo It's okay. I'll do it. I have time. I'll make use of it. Just need to put a mental note to get my mom to pose for my moral project. HAHA 

I don't want to get back to school so fast... Not when I have so much time to go to the club, and chill, and swim. UGH. D= But it IS better than working I guess... heck, I've got so much free time now that I can practice my dance. xD

Miss my dance, Miss swimming, Miss tennis, Miss you, Miss me, Miss my friends, Miss my family, Miss my vacation. HAHAHAHA 

Today was fun actually. Sorry, I'm kinda lazy to upload photos today. Went to Ficelle at 11 to meet up with friends. Got cake-wasted there till 1.30-ish, then became the oh-so-awesome "drunk driver" and went to Kiki's place. Haha since I was the transport of Hwu Ning, I had to go to her place and in the end, dragging Yeh Yang and Brandon along! HAHAHAHA Stayed there till 3.45. There were like, 3 corners in the house. The emo corner, the classical corner and the computer corner. 2 people at each corner. 

It was funny actually. xD Hwu Ning came over to wait for her mom. Had an enjoyable day actually. xD Looking forward to swimming tomorrow with Candace. 8) Till then peeps~ xD

Jessica. 

<3

Few. More. Days. 

30th August 2011, 21:45

Greetings =)

Day 5

Heeheehee~ half way there. xD Not waiting for holidays to finish though. Don't wanna finish work. x.x Haha but going to eventually. Anyways, Selamat Hari Raya and Happy Independence Day to everyone in Malaysia. xD Before anything else, let's just take a moment to appreciate our forefathers' sufferings and efforts to make Malaysia to what it is today..

*******************************************************************************

OKAY. Now, day 5. I'm dead tired. LOL Went out, walked, swam, ate, and prepared for tuition tomorrow. Ugh. Then I've still got my moral project and addmaths and maths? @.@ OH AND MY ACCOUNTS. D= 

I'll survive. Going out again tomorrow for lunch to spend time with my awesome friends. xD I'm gonna get CAKE-WASTED!! XD Got a dinner tomorrow too. xD Hope I can find the time to swim tomorrow. IWANNAKEEPFIT. 8D 

Oh oh oh, Don't worry, I missed you. IF YOU MISS ME. TEEHEE. But managed to keep my mind off it. Ain't I just oh so awesome? Suddenly, I feel like studying. But at the same time, I feel like laying on my bed and dozing off to sleep. Like I said, DEAD.TIRED. 

Sis still ain't back yet. She gonna be in troublee~~ LOL Well, honestly I wouldn't wanna stay out that late either. -,- Don't know what she's up to nowadays. xD 

Anyways, WILL TAKE LOADS OF PICTURES TOMORROW WHILE GETTING CAKE-WASTED. Hopefully. xD Till then~~~ 

oh btw, shoe hunting failed. AGAIN. aihs, gonna wait till I get to go out with momma agaain. T3T

Nyways, TATA. xD

Jessica. 

<3

Dei, come online boleh tak?? xD

29th August 2011, 22:17

Oh glorious food <3

Day 4

Hahaha wow today passed by fast. Was out the whole day. Shoe hunting didn't work. Hopefully it will tomorrow. <3 

I really miss you... even if I'm not crying yet but I still miss you... Waiting for you to come online but obviously you're too tired to come online. It's okay. At least you're having fun. So am I. xD Hahahaha wonder what you bought. Must be some awesome stuff. It must be really nice there. Waiting for the pictures. So I can go there. xD *fingers crossed* I just hope that I can chat to you tomorrow. TEEHEE. =)

Anyways, the next part of the post will be dedicated to my close friend who's loved one has recently passed. I know it's hard for you and I'm pretty sure you won't read this anyways but I just want to let you know that your friends will always be here for you no matter what. Your loved one will always be watching you from above and he's already in a happy place so stay strong. Be strong that he won't be sad from wherever he is and so that he can happily watch over you and your family. Remember, we are always here if you need someone to go to. God Bless You and Your Family. <3

Haha, anyways phew today was really tiring. Went to the dentist. Did the x-ray.. next appointments are extractions.. NOT FUN. ESPECIALLY when you have phobia for needles. Ugh. Feels dizzy thinking about it. I only hope its all going to be worth it. =/ Then went shoe hunting. But to no avail. aihsss... then came home, and played ping pong. Thought of cleaning my bike but had no time. Then went out for dinner with family and roamed around town. Always loved doing that, seeing all the lights especially with your family. =) and finally, I'm here. HAHA

Going out tomorrow to Sunway. Hope I can find shoes there. >.< Oh wells, I'm exhausted. Nighties. <3

Jessica.

<3

I really miss you... 

28th August 2011, 21:53

My New Pencil Case 8)

Day 3

Haha~ Survived. It's a good thing. Not breaking down yet. xD Shows that I trust you. =PPP hahaha

Nyways, today, tennis was cancelled. Since it rained a little. So visited my great-grandma and when we reached there, we found out that my great-grandma and her roommate had a fight. Haha long story. xD After that my great-grandma was actually like... alert.

Cause she was mentioning about sis and bro's colour tone. She was like "Ah Yuk more darker than Ah Fai hor? Ah Yuk follow her dad la" Hahahahaha I was about to laugh when I saw sis's face. Then she went on to telling my dad about her swollen foot. 

According to my mom, it's water retention. But surprisingly, my great-grandma can still talk right, eat right, see right(one eye working), walk right and her hair is still a little partially DARK GREY. And she's 95 this year. LOL Awesome great-grandma. So lucky to have her. =) 

Then as we were about to leave, she commented on bro's muscles and my FAT. D= I was like.... NOOOOOOOOOO~ Hahahahaha 

After the visit, we just came home and stoned. Haha Like seriously. We stoned. xD 

Anyways, I miss you, You miss me, I'm fine. xD Waiting for you to appear on fb. But don't think that's happening anytime soon. Oh wells, shall sleep early tonight. <3 

BAIBAI. 

Jessica. 

<3

27th August 2011, 23:18

Teehee =)

Day 2

Wow, it's weird how my phone doesn't vibrate in the morning. Not used to it. Hahaha after a whole day, I managed to distract myself. Haha Got some new books, new pencil case, new glue. 

Honestly, I kept checking my email to see if there was any mail. Was waiting. To see your status appear online anywhere. Guess it's just a reflex now. =) It's great that you're having fun there. Good stress relief. 

Haha with my holiday week, I'm going to finish my homework(s), spend time with my friends and family, and catch up on my rest that I've missed. 

I really miss you already. Not to the extent of wanting to cry but I miss my phone vibrating having someone to talk to. =P Not that my friends are worthless, they mean a lot to me but at the same time I want your name there. >~<

I want to hear your voice... but I can't... it's okay I'll survive. =) Lately, I have this terrible little icky feeling in me, jealousy maybe?? Damn, need to get rid of that fast then. Hahaha

It's already 11.30pm and I need to sleep so... toodles people~ xDDD

Jessica.

<3

I'm thinking a lot. Can't stop thinking. All my doubts, questions. I need you now. 

26th August 2011, 22:49

So near yet so far...

Day 1

Holidays are starting! Just for one week anyways. Better than nothing. xD Haha Decided to have like... A daily post. xD 

He's already on his way. To Japan. Hahas. In a way, I think I miss him already.. But, I just don't feel like saying it. Haha thank goodness barely anyone reads this. I hope. xD Haha Like I said, so near yet so far...

On the bright side, we'll both save our money for one week. Haha and coincidentally, my prepaid expired today! Great timing no? ;) On the down side, it's a week without communication or rather barely. >< 

At least he'll have fun. And so will I. Even if I'm most probably not going anywhere, I'm gonna use the time to bond with my friends and family and with my studies. <3 Surprisingly, I'm feeling a studious vibe from myself now. o.o But at the same time, my back feels kinda cold...

It's as if the air-conditioner is blowing straight at my back. But the only thing my back is facing is my bookshelf and air. Okay, I'm creeping myself out now. Haha

Wonder what my plans for the holidays are? Hmm.. Time to plan. xD Planning on a surprise for someone. xD Hahaha Not revealing it no matter who asks me. =P Unless you can help me on it but otherwise no. xD Hahaha 

Well, gonna countdown ten days from today. <3 toodles humans. You know I Love You. xD 

Jessica. 

<3

24th August 2011, 22.23

Heyyo. Hahaha it's almost the holidays!!! And wow do time fly. One moment its January and now it's already August. Wow..

Anyways.. Regarding time flying.. I can't believe that it's already been 7 months.. Well going to be anyways. Haha at the start of the year, i was in shock and questioned myself and still am actually. Haha we managednto get this far..

I'm really grateful. Haha of course I can't say that the doubts and questions would stop but hey, at least you got me. =p I'm kidding. Haha I'm really happy we've come this far. ^^

Can't say I'm happy about you not bringing me to Japan though. =\ LOL just kidding. Have fun there kayh? Sure I'll miss you but don't bother much about it and just have fun. Just remember to bring back gifts. =p

Haha wish I can travel. You should be happy you can go overseas. Not mope around. Be excited. XD I know I am. XD for what? I guess just the holidays. XD chilling, finishing up things, dancing, etc. So you should enjoy. XD will be counting down the days you get back! Already had it marked on my calendar. XD

Haha *yawn* well, I better get some sleep. See you tomorrow. Nights.





And Happy 7th Months. =]

20th August 2011, 21:54

It's funny how we're all the same yet so different at times

Heeheehee~ The last minute assessment is over! Seriously, students should get a fair warning before some last minute exam comes up. It ain't a pop quiz. LOL 

Just waiting for the results now. Awesomely I passed ALL my subjects~ I think. o.o hahaha~ It's a good thing. But I'm going to work harder cause I'm not quite satisfied with myself. 

Oh, I attended this personality seminar today which was actually quite interesting. It was about four main personality types which are sanguines, choleric, phlegmatic, and melancholic. HAHAHAHA Like seriously I'm like a melancholic phlegmatic and the descriptions are quite true. Even if people don't really see that cause of the way I behave but I know myself. 

I am blur cause I choose to be not because I am. 

I think a lot because I want to not because it's forced with me. 

I always am how I act because I choose to be that way. 

I always hide because I choose to hide. 

It's not always about fitting in. Maybe it is in a way but it's also I prefer it that way. Be it how much you want to judge me, say things about me, say that I'm arrogant. I'm still me. My point of view is different. I work hard because I have my goals to achieve. I keep to myself because I don't want to get people involved. I listen because I love to help. I help because it makes me feel good. I do things for other people because I want to see them happy. I am happy because people around me are happy. 

I have people whom I love and trust. I have people who cares about me. I have people who know who I really am. I have people who are always there for me. To all these people, I want to do the same. I don't want to cause misunderstandings. I don't want to cause sadness and arguments. 

People who laugh and say that I'm crazy for thinking this way. Go ahead. I love what I'm doing and I'll continue doing it. =) 

(Honestly, there're just tonnes of mixed up feelings in me. I just blurted out whatever that I just wrote. It has nothing to do with any significant human. LOL) 

Well, toodles. xD 

Seriously, I felt hurt when you said you were lucky you didn't go... but I'll let it go... 

Jessica. 

9th August 2011, 20:42

Chapter 2 – The Thoughts (Part 2)

Up until then, another thought hit me. It was about losing my friends. Lately, I’ve been causing a lot of trouble. I don’t know why. It just seems that every word that comes out of my mouth, just brings trouble.

It’s not that I didn’t try to stop it. It’s just that I couldn’t. No matter how hard I try, nothing right comes out. And worst of all, whenever I try to make things better, it just gets worse.

“Maybe it’s time to go away again… for now… sort things out…” I said to myself. But what if it makes things worse? What will happen then?

Up until now, I decided to go with the flow. Indeed I was, but things still seem to be changing. Either it’s me or it’s all of us. At one point, we were all stressed out and frustrated and I thought that after all that, we’d be back together close.

But things still happen. It just wouldn’t stop. I feel as if I’ve been jinxed or something. But of course, when these things do happen, I do wonder, who’s wrong?

I may be wrong, since I’ve been the one causing it. But I did have my point. So who was the winning end? I guess the whole thing could be my fault, since I ended up apologizing. But at the same time, I feel as if, I’m a dummy.

As I was about to dig further into my thoughts, my phone started to ring.

“Urgh… why now??” I quickly tried to fix my hoarse voice since I just finished tearing as I was thinking.

“Hey dear, it’s check-up time~” chimed Alan’s voice. As usual, he’s in his normal, cheery self.

“Hey, I already texted you that I’m fine. Why go through all the trouble? You’re stoning aren’t you?” I replied, hoping he wouldn’t hear my weird voice.

“No, I was still worried. And did you cry?” He asked. Damn, he noticed.

“Um.. maybe?” I said, adding a little laugh like I always do.

“You did. You alright? Want me to come over?” He asked as if I was about to die or something.

“No need. I’m fine~ Seriously~ Was only thinking. Not like I'm self mutilating.” I reassured him.

“Okay… but is it alright if I come over later? I wanna get out of the house.” He asked.

“Sure? You always come here. Honestly, are you like, addicted or something? My house ain’t got no crack you know.” I teased him a little.

“Haha, it’s not your house, it’s You that’s my drug.” He replied. Almost immediately, I kept quiet and blushed.

“Aww, so sweet. Anyways, see you later kay? I wanna wash my face.” I said.

“Okay. See you.” And with that, the call ended.

“Okay, I guess I’ll think again later. I wouldn’t wanna end up crying again.” I said to myself and hurried into the bathroom. 

__________________________________________________________________________________

Hahahahaha yeah.... that's the story. Exam's coming. Clueless about what to do. Things are happening. It's taking time to sink in. Yeah. =/ maybe I'm just that bad. 

Oh wells, I'll figure this out somehow. Till then. 

Jessica. 

I wonder why all these happen at times... 

Can't we all just leave in peace?

I know it's impossible...

1st August 2011, 23:16

Gave up uploading a picture. :/

And honestly, its either me or its a fact that i think its pointless for me to express to anyone anymore. I'll most probably sound like i'm some attention seeking girl. Psh. Whatever.

Mind's kinda made up for now. Expressing myself now is kinda pointless. Period.




#nowplaying I'm not okay-MCR


Jessica.