Have a Cuppa~

Ahh coffee~ 

Stuff that keeps us awake 

And make us look like we're having insomnia =)

Hahaha honestly, I don't get why I'm so stressed up. I mean like, I've been thinking about one particular situation and getting so frustrated over it I feel as if I was drunk the next day. 

Actually, it's only been a day. LOL I KNOW. Anyways, I ended up waking up at 12. Which was kinda shocking cause I woke up thinking it was 10am. Hahahaha~ Then I called someone. =P Hahaha I woke up, thinking what happened that made me sleep at 3am. And I realised that, I'm just being stupid. 

If I were to make everyone happy, I should do the right thing in the right way. I will not really neglect every single human in my entire life, cause being alone isn't really fun even if sometimes we prefer it that way. =) Everyone needs at least someone in their lives =) 

I will be there for my friends. I will try to help them. But with caution and I will try to avoid conflicts. And in the process, even if I get hurt, I won't complain, I don't need to tell anyone because I'll feel good that I helped people. I guess, it's just my conscience. 

Since young, I've always wanted the somewhat impossible. I just wanted everyone around me to be happy and live their lives. But as I grew up, I found out that helping people can cause that one person to feel good, but can also simultaneously cause people hurt. 

I know it's inevitable but I will try. Even if the hurts ends up coming to me. I've been dealing with so much hurt in me, I learn to ignore it. For a long period of time anyway. Hahaha Yes, I know I'm sappy. ;) 

My parents tell me to not stress myself so much and not hide it all inside. But it's just how I am. I feel as if my problems aren't as big as those that I help. In the end, I feel as if my problems aren't as important. And I do get hurt easily, maybe that's why I was called a crybaby when I was young. But my parents told me it's good to cry now because I've been keeping everything inside. 

I've kept my feelings because of fear that I'd get rejected from society. I've kept my tears because I fear of being scolded and being called a drama queen. I end up having the logic that my problems aren't big. ;)

I don't want that to happen to people. Not my future family, not my family, not the people out there. I want people to be able to express their feelings in considerable way that they won't hurt anyone else. I want them to confront the person who are hurting them. 

I have been hurt by my friends. But I don't have the courage to speak up for I fear that they'll hate me. I always did. And when the rare times that I speak up, I end up in an argument and in the end, I lose to avoid it being worse. That's why I keep it in. (If my mom sees this, I think she'll watch me super closely. O.O) 

Even when I get hurt by my friends, I don't know why, but I still love them. Even when sometimes, they don't know much about me cause I keep it in, I still love them. Even when they say things are my fault, I still love and care and take the blame. I still love them cause they're my friends. ;) 

OMAIGAWD. I need to stop talking. Hahaha thank goodness no one reads this. Yet. =X 

To those who read this, I am not a sad person. I'm not pitiful. Lol. I'm perfectly fine and I am enjoying life kayy? =) 

Toodles! xD

Jessica.