Tuesday, August 9, 2011

9th August 2011, 20:42


Chapter 2 – The Thoughts (Part 2)

Up until then, another thought hit me. It was about losing my friends. Lately, I’ve been causing a lot of trouble. I don’t know why. It just seems that every word that comes out of my mouth, just brings trouble.

It’s not that I didn’t try to stop it. It’s just that I couldn’t. No matter how hard I try, nothing right comes out. And worst of all, whenever I try to make things better, it just gets worse.

“Maybe it’s time to go away again… for now… sort things out…” I said to myself. But what if it makes things worse? What will happen then?

Up until now, I decided to go with the flow. Indeed I was, but things still seem to be changing. Either it’s me or it’s all of us. At one point, we were all stressed out and frustrated and I thought that after all that, we’d be back together close.

But things still happen. It just wouldn’t stop. I feel as if I’ve been jinxed or something. But of course, when these things do happen, I do wonder, who’s wrong?

I may be wrong, since I’ve been the one causing it. But I did have my point. So who was the winning end? I guess the whole thing could be my fault, since I ended up apologizing. But at the same time, I feel as if, I’m a dummy.

As I was about to dig further into my thoughts, my phone started to ring.

“Urgh… why now??” I quickly tried to fix my hoarse voice since I just finished tearing as I was thinking.

“Hey dear, it’s check-up time~” chimed Alan’s voice. As usual, he’s in his normal, cheery self.

“Hey, I already texted you that I’m fine. Why go through all the trouble? You’re stoning aren’t you?” I replied, hoping he wouldn’t hear my weird voice.

“No, I was still worried. And did you cry?” He asked. Damn, he noticed.

“Um.. maybe?” I said, adding a little laugh like I always do.

“You did. You alright? Want me to come over?” He asked as if I was about to die or something.

“No need. I’m fine~ Seriously~ Was only thinking. Not like I'm self mutilating.” I reassured him.

“Okay… but is it alright if I come over later? I wanna get out of the house.” He asked.

“Sure? You always come here. Honestly, are you like, addicted or something? My house ain’t got no crack you know.” I teased him a little.

“Haha, it’s not your house, it’s You that’s my drug.” He replied. Almost immediately, I kept quiet and blushed.

“Aww, so sweet. Anyways, see you later kay? I wanna wash my face.” I said.

“Okay. See you.” And with that, the call ended.

“Okay, I guess I’ll think again later. I wouldn’t wanna end up crying again.” I said to myself and hurried into the bathroom. 


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Hahahahaha yeah.... that's the story. Exam's coming. Clueless about what to do. Things are happening. It's taking time to sink in. Yeah. =/ maybe I'm just that bad. 

Oh wells, I'll figure this out somehow. Till then. 



Jessica. 



I wonder why all these happen at times... 
Can't we all just leave in peace?
I know it's impossible...



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