Reminiscing.

(Memories. My phone was obviously hijacked)

I was just clearing rearranging some stuff on one of my shelves and I was looking through some old paper documents to see what could be useful and what could be thrown away. As I went through my folders, I came across one where it contained most of what I've done during my days in CPU-mainly to do with writing, mainly Writer's Craft and ENG4U (because I was proud of those works).

I was re-reading all the stuff I have done, from different analysing perspectives to my own written work of fiction, from tips and "how-to's" to comments in my finals submissions. It brought back a lot of memories and also, I was awed. It's been a year since I've started doing purely graphic design and quite frankly, I've forgotten how much enjoyment it also gave me to write, to compose, to describe. As I scrolled through paper by paper, noticing all the little details I could've improved on, or even just realising simple grammatical errors, I was slowly amazed at the ability of how much I actually wrote during my first 6 months in CPU.

I realised very soon, that I missed that feeling. The feeling of racking my brains on how to put my thoughts into words, searching up the mental Thesaurus filled with vocabulary I've collected over the years. The feeling of just listening to my fingers glide through the keys on my laptop, seeing word by word magically appear on my Microsoft Word document. I then recalled, that throughout my secondary life, I have done mostly writing than actually drawing, and with no doubt, describing with words is and always will be what I'm most comfortable with. I remember how I've always gotten so excited whenever I reached a bookstore, not only judging books by their covers (admit it, you all do that) but also judging the first chapter of every book I cross paths with.

I've always written down my dreams, and try to churn out sequels to them (mostly happy ones), and I'm sure they've become my dreams at least once. I've created so many stories with friends that when I come across the document, I hardly remember that it was me who wrote them. Heck, I remember that I've always wanted my stories published!

Now, you must be thinking "Oh, then why did you choose design if you just wanted to write?" or "Are you regretting your decision now?". NO. I do not AT ALL regret my decision to enter the world of design. Yes, I do miss language and writing and sometimes when I look back, I DO wonder if things would've turned out better with me entering the world of words, but then I look back at what design has given me and I know it's not something I should regret over. My family has always told me "If you want to do something, no matter what obstacles come your way you will find a way to do it", and this has been one of the most precious piece of advice I have ever used whenever I wanted to make decisions.

(Some of the Donuts)

I'm in design now, and if that isn't my passion, I am adding more precious skills into what I can do in the future. I don't have to always use design as a job, I can use it to entertain my future kids (if I ever have any), I can use it to help people, and many many more. Sure, I can't draw well or take magnificent pictures, but with me in the course, it has merely motivated me to improve in these aspects that I have abandoned for so long (due to me being in the Science stream, doodling has become almost extinct in my life). My drawing skills have (hopefully) improved, and I can see a lot of improvement in my photography (still learning), all in 1 year! I have also improved in the world of punology and I have also started noticing details a bit more than what I used to (it's a good thing). So in a way, I don't see why I should stop. PLUS, I even more a lot more friends who are just amazing and forever fun to be with!

I will never drift away from my love for words (I'm writing now, it counts) nor am I going to abandon whatever motivation I have for learning as many languages as I can. I don't need ONE passion, I can have many because I will do anything I can to do what I like. I'm now motivated more than ever to write myself a story (and also because I just finished watching Maleficent, it's magnificent) and continue to study all I need for Japanese. I'm not forgetting my piano (resolution is to practice more).

I obviously have so much more to say but it's awfully late, and well I'm going to stop this emotional and draggy blogpost. Guess I just needed to write my thoughts out for a bit, writing is good venting, to me. But thanks for listening! :)

Jessica.